I suppose the main premise of this book is that we need a father. It's written from the perspective of someone who grew up without one, and assumes that the majority of its 'target audience' will likewise have grown up fatherless. It's more aimed at boys than girls (as the author is one, and therefore that's his journey!)
I have been blessed with fabulous parents, and am eternally grateful for all their work on me! However, I have worked with a great number of people who are in the (often painful) process of growing up without dad being around, for whatever reason. This was my main reason for buying and reading this book. (Actually, strictly speaking, I didn't buy it - it was a gift)
The book is an exploration of and journey through the author's process of growing up, and later, analysing growing up, without a father. I found it a really helpful book both to begin to understand the struggles that some people in this situation may have, and to challenge myself to consider what I might be able to offer. Obviously, this is most crucially through my relationship with my own son, but also through relationships with others.
The author notes early on that, "The truth I've learned about life is that you can't do it on your own." He talks of the 'gaps' in his life - "I wasn't sure how to manage myself, how to talk to a woman, how to build a career, how to - well, be a man." Of course, the thought turns to God, and Miller recalls a conversation with a friend (John MacMurray; co-author of the original book - To Own a Dragon, of which this is an revision and update). MacMurray, referring to a sunset, tells Miller, "He [God] did it for his children. That is what beauty is for. All this beauty exists so you and I can see his glory, his artwork. It's like an invitation to know him, to worship him." This conversation, and others like it, help to reform the image of 'father' for Miller. It's not that God is like the father who ran off when Miller was a child. Rather, the father who ran off failed to follow the pattern God our father has set. MacMurray continues, "I'm just saying, Don, if God is our father, we've got it good. We've got it real good."
The book is littered with some really astute points, not just about father-son relationships, but about relationships that honour God. There are chapters on sex, on work, on integrity and much more! It's written in a style that I really like. It's open, but not heavy or overbearing. It's fun to read, but also makes you think. There's definite humour throughout. Here's a chunk to leave you with, that has little to do with the subject or this review, but it's funny.
"...there aren't many pleasures that I enjoy more than sleep. I sleep till I'm done, normally, and haven't set an alarm in years. I'm not lazy, mind you, I just find it odd that anyone would program a machine to wake them. God made the brain so it would wake up on its own, and as a follower of Jesus, I'm a strict adherent to his system. Call me a fundamentalist if you want"
Like almost all the other books I've blogged about, I'd recommend it!
Amazon.com and Amazon.co.uk links below. (I get a cut if you buy it through this link. Like about 20p or something. So buy it and I'll become a millionaire overnight)
Amazon.com link (US site)
